We live in a world of relationships of all kinds. We connect virtually, we connect with deep friendships or conjunctures, we love and suffer in couple relationships, we unite destinies, and we break up affecting considerable parts of our lives, and we move on looking to be in relationships because loneliness scares us more, perhaps than a dysfunctional relationship.
Your opinion of what your couple's relationship should be like is deeply influenced by the expectations you assimilated in your childhood, the patterns of love you saw, the experiences you lived, and the emotions associated with them. We bring with us into adult life, all kinds of unconscious and unexampled assumptions about how the ideal relationship should be, and how we should feel, and we project some expectations, sometimes unrealistic, that determine our behavior in relationships, affect the way we think about our partner and, often, instead of bringing us peace and joy, they bring us pressure and anxiety.
Myths about relationships make us tend towards ideals devoid of realism and then blame ourselves and our partner when we fail to achieve them. Distorted ideas create vicious circles of unhappiness which we spin by going out of one relationship to then enter into another that fails, always wanting to change others because they are unsuitable. We forget to look at the person who could make a real difference: ourselves!
People are happy or unhappy, not relationships!
What often seems to be a problem in the relationship is an individual one of each partner. Many times, when we become aware of our thoughts and expectations from ourselves, from others, and from living together, when we observe our behaviors and heal our emotional wounds, we become better partners.
Together, I hope that we will be able to decipher some of the myths about relationships that we have taken over and perpetuate and then find healthier alternatives to increase our chances of having harmonious relationships because, eh, life is more beautiful when we share it!
Take care of yourself!
